Most of you probably haven't wielded a great, long, and mighty stick ever in your life (and might not ever will), so the world of fencing may be entirely foreign to you. This will be a brief introduction to swordplay with only minor interference of dick jokes.
The first thing to learn would be what to do in an actual sword fight. If you somehow get into a situation where it is you, another person, and two swords, then this is what you should. First step is to throw your sword somewhere. Second is to run away screaming. Then, congratulations! You have survived your first sword fight!
If you believe that this is unconventional advice for a blog about sword play, then I welcome you to the real world. The actual purpose of fencing is not to kill or defeat your opponent. It is to protect yourself from being killed. The word "fencing" comes from the word "defense" to begin with. It just so happens that one of the assured ways to not be killed is to kill your killer first. However, nowadays, THAT IS A STUPID IDEA. You should never bet your life on some skill that, at the best of times, still gives you a high likelihood of dying. Just thrust safely.
I just realized that I just told all of you to not get into any fights where you have a chance to die by sword (I personally think that dying by sword would be a really cool way to go, but I digress). Unless you are being hunted by King Arthur fans, samurai, or me, then pretty much nothing here is actually useful to you. Anyways, lets move on to actually learning something! ;)
Lets start with the different kinds of fencing for now. The term fencing is generally any form of combat with a sword. Technically kendo is Japanese fencing, but don't tell anybody I said that (I don't want to be hunted by ninjas). There is longsword fencing, shortsword fencing, rapier fencing, and the list goes on. In general, though, there are some guidelines to using a sword.
First, keep your sword in front of you. I have personally found that Doing so dissuades people from getting close to you. Next, don't wind up any of your swings. That tells your opponent your touching will begin (dick jokes don't really work well in this context). Once you make an attack, get away quickly. Reaching out to touch your opponent invites them to touch you back. Get away before they can. Don't hold the sword in any weird ways (ignore what you know from television). It just gives you a bad grip.
The most important thing is to not get hit. It is indefinitely more important than hitting you opponent this is because if you both focus on attacking then you'll just kill each other, and you don't want that. You want a purely single sided aggressive touching session using your stick.
That is is for today
Stay sticky my friends
The first thing to learn would be what to do in an actual sword fight. If you somehow get into a situation where it is you, another person, and two swords, then this is what you should. First step is to throw your sword somewhere. Second is to run away screaming. Then, congratulations! You have survived your first sword fight!
If you believe that this is unconventional advice for a blog about sword play, then I welcome you to the real world. The actual purpose of fencing is not to kill or defeat your opponent. It is to protect yourself from being killed. The word "fencing" comes from the word "defense" to begin with. It just so happens that one of the assured ways to not be killed is to kill your killer first. However, nowadays, THAT IS A STUPID IDEA. You should never bet your life on some skill that, at the best of times, still gives you a high likelihood of dying. Just thrust safely.
I just realized that I just told all of you to not get into any fights where you have a chance to die by sword (I personally think that dying by sword would be a really cool way to go, but I digress). Unless you are being hunted by King Arthur fans, samurai, or me, then pretty much nothing here is actually useful to you. Anyways, lets move on to actually learning something! ;)
Lets start with the different kinds of fencing for now. The term fencing is generally any form of combat with a sword. Technically kendo is Japanese fencing, but don't tell anybody I said that (I don't want to be hunted by ninjas). There is longsword fencing, shortsword fencing, rapier fencing, and the list goes on. In general, though, there are some guidelines to using a sword.
First, keep your sword in front of you. I have personally found that Doing so dissuades people from getting close to you. Next, don't wind up any of your swings. That tells your opponent your touching will begin (dick jokes don't really work well in this context). Once you make an attack, get away quickly. Reaching out to touch your opponent invites them to touch you back. Get away before they can. Don't hold the sword in any weird ways (ignore what you know from television). It just gives you a bad grip.
The most important thing is to not get hit. It is indefinitely more important than hitting you opponent this is because if you both focus on attacking then you'll just kill each other, and you don't want that. You want a purely single sided aggressive touching session using your stick.
That is is for today
Stay sticky my friends
It took me forever to get past the first 2 paragraphs. I was laughing way too hard.
ReplyDeleteI like your format of the blog. Very entertaining.
ReplyDelete